The True Meaning of the Holidays

As the holiday season is upon us with Thanksgiving just  a few days away, it seems that the true spirit of the season tends to get lost behind Black Friday sales and Christmas wish lists.  Where has the sense of family time gone to?  We rush around throwing money this way and swiping credit cards that way and Christmas comes and goes in a such a blur that who is really enjoying it?  I've seen kids get so much for Christmas that they don't know what to play with first and I myself have been guilty of doing the same thing. 

While in the hustle and bustle, we tend to forget that there are people out there suffering; those that are without food, without shelter. . . .without family.  When I stop for a moment and think about this, I feel a surge of guilt in that I have raised my kids in such a materialistic world that I worry that I have honestly failed them. Instead of shopping for the #1 gift over the years, I should have been taking them out into the community to help others because isn't that what's really important?  Society is about want, want, want. . .but what about needs?


Thanksgiving has been run over by Christmas.  We basically jump out of Halloween and take the express lane to Christmas.  Now I am just as guilty as the next one, typically decorating before Thanksgiving has gotten here, but this year, I am trying to take a different approach.  The holidays come and go by too quickly. . .life is flying by at such a pace that if I had the ability to slow it down, I would.  I just want to enjoy each and every day with my family.  I don't want to miss one thing.  When I am in my 90s, I want to be able to look back and smile at the memories instead of frown at the important moments I missed.  I don't want a lifetime of regrets, but want a lifetime of good memories.

I do remember one Christmas years ago when the kids wanted less from Santa.  They wanted part of the money that would have been for their gifts to go to help other children have a Christmas.  They felt so good about that, saying they had plenty while other children did not.  That made me feel proud as a parent, but instead of carrying on in the tradition, it became forgotten.  I always worry about whether I have gotten them enough, but looking back, they have received more than enough.  I have allowed them to forget the true meaning of the holidays, the true spirit of Christmas.

What happened to the days of handmade gifts, those that you know someone put a lot of time and thought into?  No....it may not be the newest gaming system or the hot ticket item, but it would come from the heart and can be cherished for years to come.  The gaming system will become outdated.  The hot ticket item today will be replaced by a new hot ticket item tomorrow.  The handmade items will be forever remembered. I have so many things that the kids have made for me over the years that are so much more precious to me than anything else money can buy because it represents a true love, a true gift and that is something you cannot put a price tag on.

Saying Goodbye

Goodbye. . .This has to be one of the most difficult words to say and I'm not talking about a simple "goodbye" when someone leaves the house.  I am talking about the "goodbye" you say to someone that is no longer in your life in the same way.  There are some people that come into your life and you just can't let go - you just don't want to let go. . .you have let them so deep into your heart that the footprints there will ever remain very present, their loss never forgotten.  I have only experienced this one time before in my life and now. . .yet again.  What is the cause of this hurt?  Why can some people leave your life and you are okay, but certain ones rip away a piece of your heart carrying it with them when they leave?

When you open your heart to someone and then you part ways, it changes you.  While you can become whole again, its not the same whole and it's not easy.  You never really go back to who you were.  Recently I've had to say goodbye to someone I truly love - quirks and all - and it has been so much harder than my experience saying goodbye and having to walk away from my 1st love.  You know how 1st loves are. . .2nd loves are just 10x harder.  This letting go process has had me wavering back and forth, had me second guessing.  I know I love him, so why do I walk away?  Why must I be the one to say goodbye?  I honestly think we may have met before we were supposed to. Have you ever heard the timing isn't right?  I've never understood that until now.

Goodbye is never good. . .I mean who ever came up with that word.  It shouldn't have been "Goodbye" because I don't think there honestly is a good goodbye.  Are you ever happy when someone leaves?  How would it even be possible for goodbye to be good at the end of a relationship?  In my situation, it's not good at all.  The pain from it has consumed me. . .suffocated me. . .changed me.  I am shut down and guarded because I literally cannot take another heart break.  The first was bad enough. . . this one is killing me.  No one can understand why or how I feel the way I do. . .I just do.  You don't choose who you fall in love with, don't choose who takes your heart - it just happens.  As I sit in my solemness and thoughts, I am reminded of the song by Clint Black, "Bad Goodbye."  You remember that one?  He sang it with Wynonna.

"Goodbye

Easier said than done

Goodbye

There's no good when you're the one

Whose goodbye you swore would never come

And in my goodbye you're finding none."

There can never be a good goodbye when you don't want to leave, when you know how bad you feel and hurt. Just because you know it's for the best doesn't change anything.  I've sat and wondered if there is something more I can do. Is there some way to rectify this situation, to meet in the middle - to prevent this pain, prevent another rip to my heart?  At this point, I don't think so.  Black goes on to sing, 

"How can we be so far between

Where we are and one more try?"

That says it best - asks the question that is burning in my mind.  How can we be so far between?  Why can't there be a compromise?  

I have said goodbye, but I can only hope it's more of a "Goodbye for now."  If God has it in his plans, our paths will cross again and maybe next time will be the right time, maybe next time will be our time, for now it's only bittersweet memories.  "The hardest part of loving someone is knowing when to let go, and knowing when to say goodbye." - Anonymous