Best Friends - Guys v. Girls

Friendship is so important in life and much needed sometimes to survive life's many challenges.  A good and true friend is very hard to find and when that friendship is lost it is as devastating as Mother Nature's fury. The only thing about that devastation is that it is not as visible, at least with me it isn't.  I tend to hold everything inside until I am curled in a ball on the floor with a box of tissues.  I don't like to burden others with my problems and pain.  I have the philosophy that I am the one that was stupid enough to be in this situation, so I deserve everything I feel when it falls apart.  

When a girl suffers a broken heart, she runs straight to her best friend to help in easing the hurt.  It's not really going to make the pain go away, but it makes it a little more bearable to have someone to talk to.  That works great unless your best friend is a guy.  Girls who have guy friends know what I'm talking about.  Guys are just not as sensitive to women's emotions as girls are which really makes them bad best friends to a girl. To make matters worse, what if  he is the one that has broken your heart.  Do guys say and do things intentionally to hurt girls?  Is it the male ego thing?  

Many times in relationships, a girl and guy tend to lose themselves in each other and alienate all the friends they have.  Bad idea!  When they break up, they feel they have no one to talk to or no one would understand.  Regardless of whether you want to acknowledge it, you always have your family.  The only problem there is that they don't always understand the reason for your pain.  A girl may hear "he wasn't good enough for you" or "you're better off without him."  At that time, that is the last thing you want to hear.  You don't want to hear how you need to "pick up and move on", "it would have never worked" or "there are more fish in the sea."  Really?  Aren't you just sensitive!  At that particular moment, you don't need truth or reality, you need someone to listen to you and hold you in your vulnerable state where "you'll never be the same" and "he was the one."  Your heart is shattering into a million pieces so sympathy would be great folks!

This is where the friend comes in.  She or he is normally there to listen to you, offer advice when needed, and to have your back.  This someone does not do something intentionally to hurt you. This is not a friend. 

Dear Guy Friend,

Don't be a jerk and flirt with someone else or talk about some other girl in front of me. That is insensitive.  I know that you have no clue, but do you have no heart either?  

Sincerely, 

I'm Standing Right Here  

That's the note that you want to give them pinned to the tennis ball you are throwing at their head, right?  I mean get a clue, dude.  I say all of this girls to provide some advice.  You may not like it or even follow it, but here it goes:

Girls, having a best friend that is a male is not a good idea.  He can be your friend, the one you go to when someone has physically hurt you, but not someone you go to when you are upset and need to talk.  If you develop feelings for him, run the other direction fast because #1 - he has no clue and never will, and #2 - when you realize that it will never work, you may just end up losing a good friend because things will never be the same afterwards.  

When searching for that best friend, find someone that you have something in common with, someone that is sensitive and is a good listener, someone to have fun with because when that heart break comes (and it will), she will listen to you, cry with you, get mad at him with you, protect you, and eventually help you laugh again.