Fear

Fear…what exactly makes us develop fear?  Regardless of whether it’s a fear of heights, or spiders, or even confined places, fear is fear.  Unless we face our fears, we will continue to let them consume us.  Some even have a fear of love and commitment.  Regardless of your fear, you must determine the root of that fear.   Are you afraid of heights because you have fallen and hurt yourself?  Are you afraid of spiders because your mother was?  Are you afraid of confined places because your sibling locked you in a small, dark closet?  There is a reason for this fear.  

I have had many friends who have and still do have a fear of love and commitment.  I have even struggled with this.  I know where my fear comes from and that is past heartbreaks, disappointments, loss of trust, and lies.  Who can actually move forward with someone when they have a fear of being on the receiving end of the same type of hurt?  You must realize though, that you cannot experience that great love unless you open your heart, take down that wall and allow yourself to feel it and experience it. Allow love to flow through you.  You have that capacity to love since you've done it before, so don't waste your big heart by keeping it under lock and key.  You cannot expect someone to love you, if you are afraid to love them.  Merle Shane said, “Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life.”  I would rather risk another heartbreak by allowing someone to see my true self, my heart than to be a bitter old person who lives alone.

Why go through life with a fear of anything?  Don't!  Fear stems from worry and we already tend to worry about things that we have no control over.   Fear causes unnecessary and avoidable stress.  Try to go with the flow and allow greatness to happen to you.  If you find that you have developed a fear, think about why it scares you.  What about it is actually so fearful…the unknown?  A past hurt or regret? A past accident? Face your fear...overcome it and if you determine that it is too great to deal with alone, look up and pray.  Give your worries and fears and struggles to the one who has control over all...God! 

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”  So analyze the fear and then face the fear because if you continue to live this way, you are only living half your life.