Romance. . .is it dead?

 

Romance.... This has been a subject rolling around in my head for awhile.  What is romance exactly?  What is classified as romantic?  How do men interpret it?  How do women interpret it? Merriam-Webster defines romantic as of, relating to, or involving love between two people; making someone think of love : suitable for romance.  Many women yearn for romance in their lives so they pick up a book or find a sappy love movie.  This tends to intimidate men for the simple fact that they cannot compete with the imagination of an author or with Hollywood, but we don't really expect them to.  It’s always fun to get carried away in a movie or book, but most of us realize that’s not real life.  That is Hollywood’s trumped up version of romance and how many real Hollywood couples have a life like what they portray in the movies?  

The attentiveness between couples has become alarming and relationships have gotten puzzling, actually no….quite confusing is a better description.  While men used to call up women and ask them out on dates, it is now done via email, Facebook, or text.  Days of talking all night have evolved into FB messages, texts, Tweets, Instagram posts, Vines, Snapchats, etc. .  Dates have turned into "hanging out" and phone calls into incessant texting.  We have let the evolution of technology stand in the way of appropriate dating and getting to know each other and society is just sitting back and accepting this new trend. . .well, except for me. I am still old fashioned and fighting it every step of the way.  I still prefer to talk on the phone as opposed to emailing or texting because hey. . I really love to hear your voice on the other end of the line.  It still makes my heart skip a beat and makes me smile from ear to ear.  I’ve heard some say that they don’t have much to talk about on the phone.  If this is the case, then maybe you don't have anything in common.  

Spend more time paying attention to what interests each other. Put your cell phone down! Talk to each other about random things and actually listen to what each other says.  Not only is talking on the phone dead but apparently so is conversation.  I am a firm believer that texting has caused this!  Have you ever been on a date and just sat in awkward silence?  Not fun, is it?  So, try to make an effort to really listen to each other.   If something is on your mind, don’t clam up, speak up.  Learn more by asking questions instead of a replying with a generic "yes" or "no" or “I know” response.  Phrases like that lead to dead conversation which means you're not really listening.  Make that conversation last longer because that is the true way of getting to know each other.  Make time for each other and I mean quality time.  

Back to what is romantic.  Women, believe it or not, are much simpler than you guys give us credit for.  You don’t have to spend a fortune and make a scene to make us happy.  When it comes to what we see is romantic, it can simply be romantic gestures and to a woman this could be any of the following:

• cuddling on the couch
• holding hands
• a kiss on forehead
• a random hug or kiss - not just when she walks in or leaves
• laying on a blanket at night and stargazing
• walking up behind and putting your arms around her
• while standing behind her, move her hair out of the way and kiss her neck
• brush back her hair out of her face or even run your fingers through her hair
• looking in her eyes
• cooking her dinner
• massaging her neck or shoulders

Come on guys. . .think about it.  Your girlfriend (or wife) does sweet things for you.  Has she ever:

• fixed your lunch to take to work
• come to your house and cooked dinner for you
• baked you a pie or cookies and dropped them off to you for no reason
• rubbed your back when you’ve had a hard day
• involuntarily walked up and hugged or kissed you
• Brought you breakfast without you asking
• Saw something at the store that you liked and bought it for you
• Went out of her way to pick you up lunch or supper
• Offered to run errands for you or help you out in some way

The list could go on and on. She does this because she cares about you and these are the little things she does, the little romantic gestures that say, “Hey, you are important to me!” or “I really care about you!”  Now granted, most women are prone to things like this.  It’s just in their nature, doing little things because they were thinking about you.  As for me, I will see a picture or a loving phrase that reminds me of my boyfriend and I will send it to him.  But that’s just me.  I am a hopeless romantic and have a habit of putting others before myself.  I don't need a fairy tale romance, but stargaze with me or watch the sunset over the water and you’ve got me hooked. 

So, while we women love candlelight dinners and flowers, what we really want is little gestures of love, the little things in life that really show us you care, the little things that show we are on your mind and important to you.